Idk if you noticed, but it's been a minute! Life threw some heavy sh!t at my family this year, and I had to sack up and do the bare minimum required to keep a business running… when life comes at you like that but you also run your own company, "taking a step back" isn't really on the menu.

I won't get into the details, but if you've ever had the kind of year that grabs you by your ankles, turns you upside down, shakes all your lunch money out of your pockets, dunks your head in the toilet, gives you the swirly of a lifetime, takes a picture, and posts it to their Instagram story for everyone to see… that's the year I've been having.

But I'll be damned if I'm not coming back stronger, tougher, and with about ten times the mental fortitude I started the year with!!!!

So. We're back.

Here's the other reason I went quiet...

I went all-in, 12-hour-days-nearly-every-day all-in, on re-building and re-launching the Admin Awards Institute for Administrative Excellence. And in the month since we relaunched, we've hit 800 members. I'm floored.

If you're an EA or Chief of Staff, you need to go check it out…and specifically, you need to be at our upcoming Roundtable, where we're breaking down what's actually happening in the profession right now. We all know something weird is going on. The headlines are scary. So we’re sitting down with experts from McKinsey, Source Global Research, and Korn Ferry to talk about what's real and what's noise. You should be there!

(The roundtable is free for anyone, but if you join Pro this month, you'll also get an invite to our conversation with Terry Szuplat (former President Obama's White House speechwriter) and you can bring your executive. That one's Pro-members only.)

Anyway, back to regularly scheduled programming. Today's issue is something I've now coached multiple people through in the last few weeks as they're out there interviewing...

Did someone forward this newsletter to you?

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Good luck if you applied!!!!

You know the feeling. You open the email, see the word "unfortunately," and your stomach drops before you've even read the rest of the sentence. So you close the laptop, mutter an expletive, and move on with your day.

Here's what I need you to realize: that email is not always a locked door. Sometimes it's just a door that's currently closed. And if you play it right, you can be the one standing there when it opens back up.

Let me explain why, and then give you the exact moves to make.

Hiring is a whole lot messier than it looks from the outside. Candidates decline offers. They take counteroffers. They change their minds at the last minute for one of about a million reasons that have nothing to do with anyone but themselves. Sometimes a company likes two finalists so much they find a way to hire both. Priorities shift, budgets open up, a role gets re-approved three weeks later than planned.

And here's the part that stings a little, (but is actually good news): the gap between the person who got the offer and the person who didn't is usually razor thin. A little more industry experience. One stronger example in the interview. A skill that happened to map perfectly onto next quarter's project. Sometimes, there’s almost no margin…

Which means if you were their second choice, you are one falling-through of a deal away from becoming their first call.

I know what you're thinking: I don't want to be anyone's second choice. Fair. But this isn't a marriage proposal, it's a job. Get over the ego hit and play the long game.

Here's how.

Don't let the rejection email be the last communication. Reply. Keep it short, warm, and forward-looking:

"Thank you so much for letting me know. While I’m disappointed to hear this, I really enjoyed meeting you and the team, and I remain very interested in what you’re building at [company]. If anything changes with this position, or another opportunity opens up that fits my background, I'd love to be considered."

That's it. Don’t beg, don’t over-explain, but DO say something. You're simply making sure that if their first choice flakes, declines, or counters out, you're the name that comes to mind next, not a folder they have to dig through.

You might not get it. Plenty of companies have a blanket "we don't share feedback" policy. But ask anyway:

"For my own learning, would you be willing to share any feedback from the interview that might be helpful to me moving forward?"

If they give you something, take it in and use it. Don't get defensive. Don't argue the point. Don't ask them to reconsider on the spot. And whatever you do, don't disappear the second it stings.

This is the part people get wrong: they treat rejection like an insult instead of information. But hiring managers remember how you show up in that moment. Grace under a "no" says more about your character than most interview questions ever could…and it's exactly why they'll feel comfortable calling you back later.

If you made it all the way to final rounds and still got the "unfortunately" email, there's one more move most candidates never think to make: send a handwritten note to the hiring manager.

Not an email. Not a LinkedIn message. An actual card, in actual ink, sent to their actual office.

Why it works: by final rounds, you're not a stranger anymore. You sat across from these people. They spent real time on you. A short, genuine note thanking them for the opportunity, saying you enjoyed getting to know the team, and reiterating that you'd welcome the chance to be considered again does something an email can't. It's physical. It sits on a desk. It gets seen by other people who walk by. And it signals a level of thoughtfulness that almost nobody bothers with anymore, precisely because it takes more effort than firing off a reply.

Keep it short. Three or four sentences, max. It's a small, human gesture that keeps you memorable for reasons that have nothing to do with your resume.

Here's your homework, and it's retroactive. Think back over the last 3 months. Any rejections you just let sit there? Go find those emails right now and send this:

"Wanted to follow up and see where things landed on your end. I wanted to reiterate my interest, if the person you moved forward with for some reason didn't pan out, or if there’s another opportunity on the horizon, I'd love to be reconsidered."

You don't need a fresh rejection to use this move. You just need an email address and five minutes.

Everything above works because it signals persistence without crossing into desperation. But there's a line, and some candidates sprint past it at full speed. Don't be that person. For reference:

The common thread: every one of the "good" moves put the ball back in their court, low-pressure, no strings attached. Every one of these bad moves tries to force their hand, guilt them, or make the rejection about your feelings instead of their decision. One keeps the door open. The other slams it shut and nails it back into the frame.

♟️Being someone's second choice is not a failure, It's a position. And positions can move.♟️

Most candidates treat a rejection like a locked door and walk away. A few treat it like a door that's closed for now… and stay close enough to hear when it opens.

Which one are you going to be next time your inbox says "unfortunately"?

Stuck in your job search? Not sure how to handle a tricky interview question or navigate the hiring process? Submit your question anonymously, and I’ll answer it in an upcoming newsletter.

Was any of this helpful?! Hit reply and let me know :)